Do more listening than speaking.. It is not all about speaking. Making an effort to listen to other people shows you respect them and you’re most likely to gain theirs as well. It shows you value their time, and this helps you develop stronger relationships, retain information and make better decisions..
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
― Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change
“Sometimes all a person wants is an empathetic ear; all he or she needs is to talk it out. Just offering a listening ear and an understanding heart for his or her suffering can be a big comfort.”
― Roy T. Bennett.
You need to learn to listen to other people’s opinions, ideas, suggestions without interruption.Being a good listener encourages others to open up to you, talk about themselves, share ideas, make suggestions, share experiences and stories.. There’s always something to listen to rather than being in a heist to speak about yourself, how strong you are,what abilities you possess, education and family background or how much wealth you acquired and so on.. Instead be curious about them. Let them talk about themselves. When you listen to people, you make them feel important and that’s the basic human need, the need to feel important. The more they share with you, the closer you build connections, relationships and increase your sphere of influence.
Be interested in what they are interested in, find out what their interest is. Everyone is only interested in themselves. What you may be talking about might not be their priority. Everything u do is motivated by self interest, so the easiest way for people to become your friend is to talk about their interest. What are their interests? Let them talk about it? What are their dreams? (a)become genuinely interested in the other person and talk in terms of their interest. (b) don’t assume or presume what the other person wants to say or talk about. If you want someone to like you and be open to you, make them feel important and the way in which you do that is let them talk about themselves not about yourself. When you get them to talk about themselves and you talk about themselves with them.. The best way to do that is ASK QUESTION is the best way to get people to talk about themselves, let them teach u, become a student of that person and u might realize there’s alot u know about. When a person feels important they will want to be around you, support you, vote for you, be your friend, buy your products, join your group.. Whatever the need might be because they need to continue feeling that way..
Self-confidence is believing in yourself to accomplish any tasks no matter the difficulties, challenges, obstacles, oppositions and adversity. Having self-confidence means you trust your abilities, priorities, and judgments. Show people your confidence, be yourself. You don’t feel the need to pretend to be someone else. Cultivate confidence in yourself.
People always want to be around you. Whereby you don’t seek attention, you’re friendly, considerate, and remember isn’t just about other people but how you treat and motivate yourself…
Positive body language is power ways that help you communicate through body movements or gestures and earn the respect of others. Examples are standing tall, making eye contact, smiling, handshakes, hugs, hands on the higs, touching your chin, stroking of the beard..etc.
“Everybody likes compliments..” -Abraham Lincoln
Praise the positive behavior in others, maybe at the office, school, or among your peers.. Appreciate them for their minor efforts and remind them of their positive behaviors rather than condemning them and exposing their weakness and flaws. Then improvements will be made, mistakes can be fixed or corrected, remember nobody is perfect..
In schools those days when the teacher is taking attendance by calling out names of the pupils in the classroom, you don’t remember anybody’s name while you wait patiently for yours.. Why? Because you love your name it’s the sweetest sound you love to hear, like melody so do others.
Addressing people by their names shows a sign of courtesy. It makes people feel important and respected because a person’s name is their identity. Doing this helps you build social influence and live a long-lasting impression..
“Nothing you wear is more important than your smile.” — Connie Stevens
God give you your smile for other people. Research shows that “ it takes 43 muscles to frown, and only 17 muscles to smile.” which means it takes fewer muscles to smile than frown. Why not seize the opportunity? When you smile it makes you look more attractive, approachable, and builds Interactions. Nothing can disarm a person than a smile. Smiling is contagious, it spreads positive vibes, happiness and a sense of security. Smiling also has health benefits as well, as it relieves stress, boosts your immune system, low blood pressure to mention but few.
Are you reliable? Can you be trusted? Do you keep to the time? Can you be trusted with people’s secrets? Can you keep to your promises and your words as well? To win people you must be trustworthy and always keep to your promises, appointments, gathering. don’t make promises u can keep avoid making too many commitments. Earn their trust by being true to yourself and theirs as well. Don’t waste their time; value their time, presence, efforts that they give you..
Take responsibility whenever you’re assigned to do certain tasks, take responsibility for your actions. If you hurt or offend people publicly then apologize publicly as well. Don’t blame other people for your bad decisions. If your given a certain task to do, do it and don’t make excuses. Improve your ability, weakness, faults as well, don’t say “that how i am and i don’t care” doing that will only make others see you as proud and arrogant and nobody will want to associate with you..
“Grudges are for those who insist that they are owed something; forgiveness, however, is for those who are substantial enough to move on.”
― Criss Jami, Salomé: In Every Inch In Every Mile
Holding grudges is a sign that you’re struggling with low self-esteemself-esteem and worth. In dealing with people,people, nobody wants to be reminded of what fault they commit that you claim to forgive them about. You have to let go of past mistakes, hurt, and disappointments. It shows a sign of great strength and wisdom. Learn to forgive and forget as well. This will build your social influence and draw friends rapidly.
“Complaining never makes anything better.” Anonymous
people run away from complainers. Always expressing feelings of dissatisfaction, resentment, discontent, annoyance,displeasure and finding fault always.. These are negative vibes and kill innovation. Complaining can be contagious and has negative effects on your health… When you stop complaining you leave a better impression on others, this will help you win people..
“The only thing complaining does is convince other people that you are not in control.”
Avoid arguments, when you win an argument you lose a friend. To win people your way of thinking you should understand the filtity of an argument: it doesn’t win people because you make other people feel small, bad and lose faith. When you win an argument you make the other person feel inferior and you can’t make the other person open up their heart
“A man convinced of his own opinion still is of the same …” -Dale Carnegie- how to win friends and influence people
This means when you win an argument and the other person feels bad, he still believes what he believes..
The best way to win an argument is to avoid it-don’t get involved in it, learn to keep your opinions and suggestions to yourself, control your temper..
“An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars..” PROVERBS 18:19 NLT
Another way to avoid an argument is by simply replying “ok” just say ok and wait for the person to speak or explain why he or she says what they say.. Ok means u agree with their misconception…
“Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots.”
– Frank A. Clark
We attack people before we get to know them. When you meet people don’t talk about what’s wrong, how weak they are or not intelligent, how ugly they look or dress, how loudly they speak and so on To win people rather than criticizing them by pointing out their faults and weaknesses instead tell them what could be right in their lives, try to understand and know what they do and why they do what they do.